my first lens was the kit lens 18-55. she was the bespectacled, chubby girl you chose coz no one else would go out with you. after a while i promptly threw her out of the window and deleted all proof of her existense and our dalliance.

then came the 70-300. now this one knew a trick or too. she was a compromise coz she was cheaper than the canon lenses but aleast she was real and i was in love. we went to many places, never gone before. it was exciting while it lasted. there were things she couldnt do but her other skills made up for it.

and now i was ready for more. i chose the 10-20 sigma as a worthy partner, but it was more an affair than a steady liasion, sweaty one night stands trying to figure out who is on top. and i would always go back to the arms of my 70-300 and it was difficult handling all three, (here i will confess, the 18-55 was only figuratively banished. she has her moments)

so like any self respecting gentleman i decided to settle down, no more changing of lenses, no more cheap thrills with the sigmas, it was time to get hitched. i chose the nikkor 24-120. girl for all seasons, for all reasons. respectable family line, can present to momma. not very excitable but does a bit of everything. and so life continued.

it was while one of them lazy friday afternoons online, that i first set eyes on the nifty fifty, the 50 mm prime lens. small and demure, she blew my heart away unlike anyone before. wild and wicked she couldnt zoom, but why would i want 2 zoom anyway, she couldnt do wide angle but i didnt care. i was in love. she was good to converse with and attractive, her unpredictableness made her a killer, her boekehs pulled at heartstrings, she teased with her closeups, the clarity and sharpness were to die for.

my life would henceforth be divided into two phases - the dull days before and the colourful ones after i met the nifty fifty, how it bought me wealth, happiness, fame and most importantly, an insight into the secrets of life.

please check the works of mossadi - the most talented portrait photographer i have seen around. each picture seems to tell a story. the ability to rise above the limitations of a simple 2 dimensional image and to convey emotions, a statement and facts of life.

[link]

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous stand-up comedian and writer who once said:"I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement, and amusement. Here are some of his gems:

1. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2. Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3. Half the people you know are below average.
4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8. If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9. All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
10. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11. I almost had a psychic girlfriend,...but she left me before we met.
12. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
19. I intend to live forever......so far, so good.
20. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23. My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34. If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
35. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
36. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
37. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
38. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
39. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
40. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
41. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
42. If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments
43. My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo
cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of
the afternoon's appointments.
44. When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot,
then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving
45. Sally plays strip poker. Whenever she loses, she has to put something on.
46. When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I
thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography

Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]

Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.

Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.

Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.

Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.

Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.

Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth

Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.

Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.

When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories

Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker

Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born

Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once

Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.

Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius

Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.

Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you

Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure

Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.

When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.

Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes

On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine

Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"

When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer physically discarding photos

For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.

Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.

Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF

Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.

The term tripod was coined after his silhouette

Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer

A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell

Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.

Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues